Feeling Good
by coldqueen
Summary: Episode tag for 2x17 "Feeling Good". What happened after Burke walked away from Cristina.


**Title:** Feeling Good

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Cristina was frozen for a moment on that chair. The day was obviously weighing on her for she looked exhausted. Almost like she'd aged a couple years over the day. His death had been hard on her. She'd liked him. She mourned him. She couldn't even bring herself to say his name, not even in her head. She'd been that desperate once. Unlike him, she hadn't wanted to be perfect for the world. She'd wanted to be perfect for her parents, parents who, unlike his, hadn't seen the perfection in her. They'd seen only the flaws.

She'd thought he looked perfect. She hadn't told him that. It was inappropriate for a doctor to say that to a patient. She'd been tempted. So tempted to give him that comfort. He made her smile. Patients never made her smile.

He'd died. On the operating table. McSteamy hadn't even gotten the chance to fix the poor kid's face. She and Alex had convinced the doctor to do it post-mortem. He'd have wanted that. Just the thought of it brought tears to Cristina's eyes. Why was this kid affecting her more than the others? She'd had plenty of sympathy-worthy patients. This one...this one was getting to her.

Burke closed the door behind him as he went into the bedroom, but his anger hung in the air. Cristina followed her instincts, setting her Chinese food and book aside. She slowly followed him into the bedroom, grateful for once that the door was silent as it slid over. Burke sat on the bed, staring at the floor. He was tired, probably more so than she. He had surgeries all day. She'd just had one.

Cristina walked over until she stood in front of him, but he didn't look up. "If I asked you to," Cristina started in a soft voice that was very unlike her, "would you hold me?"

Burke looked up in surprise. Cristina didn't like to be touched casually, even sleeping on the other side of the bed usually. He could only nod blankly as she slid down to straddle him, but for once, it wasn't sexual. Sex had always been what connected them. From that first flash fire in the stairwell after an ex-nurse's death to the slow smolder mere days later when she'd joined him in the on-call room. It was always that attraction that pulled them together. Even when they'd broken up from whatever semblance of a relationship they'd had and she'd been secretly pregnant with his child, the attraction was still there. In the end, it was what pulled them back together every time...except this one. This time, there was something else pulling them together. Burke called it love. Cristina didn't call it anything...but he held her, and for those few minutes that's what she needed.

Cristina wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him tight. She needed him. She couldn't tell him she loved him while he was awake, she couldn't admit anything to him while he was awake...but she knew that she needed him. That was enough.

She smiled as she pressed her cheek against his. "I bet you're embarrassed you yelled at me now."

"Not really."

"Darn, and here I was hoping to guilt you."

Burke leaned back and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "Guilt me into what?"

"I just gave up my apartment. I'm gonna need someone to help me put some stuff into storage."

Burke frowned. "You can bring it here."

Cristina laughed and for the first time she relaxed that day. "You've seen the amount of clothes I have, right?"

Burke shuddered at the thought of just how many clothes she'd had on the floor just in the living room. "Yes. It keeps me up at night."

"Funny man. I have to have my stuff out by the end of the week."

Burke leaned back, laying on the bed and pulling her with him. She slid to the side and cuddled into the nook his shoulder made. "Is this the reason for the sudden cuddle session or are you feeling bad for lying to me?"

Cristina didn't want to talk about that, but she made the effort anyway. That's what relationships were about. Effort. "I don't know why I didn't get rid of the apartment. At first, it was just a hassle. Then, it was...a failsafe."

Burke found himself frowning again, and he tipped Cristina's face up so that he could look into her eyes. "A failsafe for what?"

She didn't want to look at him as she said this. She did. Once again, effort was what relationships are about. "In case this didn't work out. We happened so fast, Burke. My head was spinning and you wanted me to move in, and I'd just lost the baby...I wasn't sure if this was what I wanted."

Burke swallowed and nodded a bit. "And?"

Cristina ducked her head and slowly rubbed her nose, suddenly cold, against his shirt. "Now I know."

"Know what?"

"Know that this is where I want to be. The thought of my cluttered apartment with its great view of the bay doesn't appeal to me anymore. You appeal to me."

Burke grinned, just a flash of white teeth in his dark face before getting serious again. "I do love you. I don't know when it happened. I don't know how. I just do."

"I know."

"And?"

"And I guess there's a chance that I could have a smidgeon of caring in myself somewhere for you. It's not like I have a choice."

"You always have a choice."

"Not with you. You always get the best surgeries. I like bribing you to get into them a lot more than I'd like bribing Bailey or McDreamy."

"Is that how it is?" Cristina could hear the amusement in his voice, and knew that the worst of it was over.

"Yeah...besides...I don't think Bailey would appreciate my special trick as much as you."

"What spe-...oh...ohhhhhh..."

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Review, please.

**Genre:** Television

**Series:** Grey's Anatomy

**Characters: **Cristina Yang, Preston Burke

**Spoilers:** 2x18 "Yesterday"

**Summary:** Episode tag, what happened after Burke walked away from her.


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